I’ve heard from a couple of guys who have been kind enough to befriend me on Facebook (you can add me by clicking here) over the last couple of weeks, all asking, “well, how do I use Facebook to my advantage?”
Let me start out by saying: there are a couple of good products out there right now already on this exact topic, if you’re interested:
- This is an epic facebook pick up course (to my knowledge the only course on online pick up out there). It’s like $2 or something, but it’s pretty informative, and had a bunch of things I’d never have thought about.
- This one is an epic eBook on using Twitter — I use the term epic in the sense of like an “epic” journey. It’s really really long and a little dull, but never seen anything else like it, and it’s totally free so I had to let you know (not sure if I recommend their dating course though, but hey, I’m slightly biased…)
Having got that out of the way: I do have a couple of points – my advice here would be (without writing my own ebook…):
- Be different and pique interest with a great image. Not something stupid and poseury, but something a little quirky that shows your personality. Funny is good, but don’t let it look like you’re trying too hard.
- Your bio is important. It doesn’t have to be long (my personal account is VERY long, but it works super well I create tons of value between my images, girls commenting all over my wall/status and photos, and my funny bio). It’s great to be funny – but reflect your personality veiled in humour. Mine talks about things I actually do love and am, and things I care about without getting too serious. It’s a juggling act, and you should fiddle with it (even the best copywriters in the world spend hours and hours editing!)
- Don’t look like you’re trying. So: cover your tracks. Show some things to give the impression you aren’t hiding yourself (like if you comment on photos) but hide revealing things (like if you comment on walls).
- Get people commenting on you. You can’t exactly tell them to (well I’ve seen some people ask questions in statuses, which usually fails, and if you ask for comments that almost definitely will). So, what do we do? You want to Like their stuff. Social networks are ALL about making people feel special – so give them compliments, make them laugh, and offer them value. Like their stuff. Comment on their walls / photos.
- And (my favourite), direct message them. So, you either want them to write something on your wall (which you’ve provoked with a comment on their wall, photo, status, or a Like) and then you pick up that conversation in DM, or you want to begin the conversation in DM.
Your 1st DMs should be SHORT! This is key! Long = pressure, long = creepy, long = guy thinking too much, perving. Long = bad. Short is good, it was “just a passing thought on impulse”. This is especially true if you initiate DM without her writing on your wall.
When you reply, your reply should be shorter than hers (tone is important too, but that’s another topic!), or at very most 1/2 lines longer if you’ve got something great to say. Keep it punchy – short, simple sentences, quick questions, etc.
- Capitalisation and grammar – In my experience using caps and proper punctuation makes little difference. Do whatever you’re in the mood for then. (There are probably girls who this does make a difference with, but if you know she’s an English Master’s student, you’re probably on top of this.).
Grammar on the other hand is slightly more important – you don’t want to look like a retard (I know when we text each other, guys I mean, we sort of short cut things – I love a 3/4 word text with my buddies – don’t do it with girls.)
And DON’T use txt spk online, or l33t 5p34k either! (or that losery 14 yrs old girl thing with mixed-caps: “HeLlo” I’m sure you’ve never done that though, have you…?)
Go find me on FB now – here’s my link: http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000104019978
Couple of questions though for you:
1- Do you add girls you’ve never met on facebook (i.e. just checked out online)? What do you do & with what responses?
2- Have you ever scored a girl BECAUSE of facebook? What was your dating strategy?
(I’ll tell you mine, if you tell me yours…)
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Well on the Facebook topic, I met this really cute girl at Uni the other day, while she was chatting to another lady friend of mine. So afterwards, I added her off my friends profile.. and sent her a DM, just short, was fun 2 meet her, and as its exams, wished her luck, and told her that afterwards we should definitely meet up and go out sometime..and she was quite friendly, replied the next day, sounded keen 2 party sometime.. but now I’m curious, because I invited her on mxit.. seeing that I now have access to her number on FB..is that appropriate?? Some of my friends are also curious about that.. A girl was telling me the other day that a guy she met added her on FB, and then sent her a phonebook request to get her number.. She didn’t seem to bothered about it, but her tone let it slip, she would have preferred him to ask it personally..
Dude, calling/smsing/ adding a chick on mxit when she has not physically given you her number comes across as very stalkerish. Personally I would have just added her as a friend and sent her a message a week or so later…. or chatted to her the next time she was on chat. Try not do so much so soon
Cool appreciate the advice… patience is a virtue..hehe
I like to use the “poke” feature to flirt with girls…I only started using this a few weeks ago but I’ve found it quite useful. It’s playful and being playful is always a plus.
- Jason Cross (PUA ARISTOCRACY)