Well, I’m going to frustrate you a little right now. The answer is also you don’t. (But also, you do.)

How helpful was that?

I do what I can, I live to serve…

No, alright here’s the thing: Anglo-Saxon guys (that’s most of us reading this website) are brought up with this weird idea of “equality” with women. And not that equality is bad or anything, but it’s kind of got really weird and warped in our collective consciousness.

Like all the dudes I know from the US, the UK, SA, Aus & NZ all seem to have one thing in common: they’re fags. Ok, no, not really. But come on, when did we suddenly decide we have to get a girl’s permission to show her we find her attractive and we’d like to do something about it? Or, let our self-esteems be defined by the women we hook up with, or don’t (this is a SERIOUS problem, honestly, with guys I know at all stages of game – and it is not healthy.)

But There’s A Better Way Of Being – For Everyone

I know that sounded a little like a political slogan. But please don’t vote for me. And definitely don’t buy anything from me. I am asking you right now please not to buy anything from me! If you throw your money at me, I will not take it!

But listen to this, because when it really clicks for you it’ll change you.

Your role as a man is, well, to be the man. If you adopt that frame (‘way of thinking and acting’) they’ll automatically adopt their woman frame. They expect three things from men in this mode:

1. Your chivalry and marks of respect towards them.
2. Be responsible for yourself and take care of yourself and have a plan. You don’t need or want their affirmation and their feelings about your actions are irrelevant. Your life is complete on its own.
3. You to take what you want, and if you’re doing (1) and (2) right, that should be them.

When you get this right, women know how to act. They’ve seen it in the rom-coms they adore so much. They’ve seen it in the action films we watch. We all know what a man is supposed to look like, but we believe those men are mythical, and so we act like women with penises.

Here’s the thing though: girls don’t want another a girl with a penis – they want a man.

The European Way

We’re going to jump around here a little bit. Because I like to keep you on your toes…

European guys aren’t the same as we are. They’re sleazy, sure. But get this, they also understand how to act to be ‘real’ archetypical men. That’s because all of our male archetypes come from our European history – we’ve done all kinds of clever and useful things, like letting women vote and work and all, but we’ve forgotten that we are fundamentally different from one another, even if we do the same stuff. (And that’s a powerful, positive thing, it’s not a denigration of women, or men, but an affirmation of who we truly are, and the beauty of who we really are.)

European guys taught me a thing or two. I thought I was pretty good before I came to Europe two years ago, but those guys taught me about Alpha maleing (hint: you can be extremely charming and polite, but firm and unassailable), and about how-to hit on a girl.

Like, I was with this one Italian girl, she was telling me about how she hated English dudes because they have no balls. She was all like, “…and you know, I was really interested in him, I was flirting so outrageously – we were having coffee and I even let my bra strap show, and he didn’t do anything! He couldn’t have missed that!”

Um, yeah, well he did – most of us are so busy waiting for a loud booming voice, or her to kiss us, that we don’t pick up the little signs, and when we do it’s too late.

The Solution

Stop being a fag.

OK, that’s not a great solution is it. Here’s a better one, and the one I myself practice, as does every good pick up artist I’ve ever met: stop giving a shit about her approval. If she’s laughing at your jokes, if she’s asked you a question and been interested in keeping the conversation with you alive, if she’s looking you in the eye and standing or sitting near you, touching you occasionally in the convo (careful: a lot of girls will not do this!), she is keen.

What needs to happen now is for YOU to organise circumstance to be able to make a move on you. Her job is to make herself available to you, your job is to fucking do it.

Take the lead and take her hand, invade her space, plant a kiss on her, grab her close. She wants it, she’s probably doing everything in her power to show you that – the problem is, she’s a lady.

Now you need to be a gentleman.

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