A good house party trumps a good night out any day of the week

There’s no doubt that running a good event can take you right where want to be in the social hierarchy. The host is always seen as charming, hospitable and confident (unless you screw up royally, but we’ll talk about that in a minute). And people have to and want to talk to the host – they seek him out.

I periodically run events for my social circle, and this is an important part of my game. Guys on pick up forums often talk just meeting new random women at clubs and bars. That is important, but it’s naive to think that’s what good game is all about. I think good game is about being that confident guy you’ve dreamed about being and living that lifestyle. So for me, picking up women (and meeting interesting dudes and guys who are like me and have value to offer the world) and sucking them into my social circle is just as important.

Events are the best way to do that, you can meet a hottie at a bar, invite her and her friends to your party, spend a bit of time with them, and bang, now you’re friends. You also almost never have to work for social proof at a party you host, and did I mention I just about always have my choice of women at the party? I do.

Here’s what you wanna do:

Choose a theme

Make up an occasion. I learnt this from a housemate I used to have. I was trying to focus on work and I didn’t want to drink or party much at that stage. But he would ALWAYS somehow concoct a special occasion that I COULDN’T MISS and most times I’d end up joining them. It’d be the “last barbeque we can ever have this Summer, you’ve got to join us, don’t be such a pansy, get down here, I bought you a six pack, I’ve opened one already. Come on, come on.” or it’s our “annual **** House (our house’s name) neon glow-in-the-dark bowling championships”.

Be creative and come up with fun themes that are compelling, that only come around once in a blue moon, and that are fun to act out. It’s a great sense of camaraderie all walking about in neon outfits while the world looks on. And hilarious and lots of fun too. You don’t have to be that extreme, but I promise it works — have you ever noticed how people always have a better time when they’re part of that “in-group” who are crazy and just on their own mission? A theme is the NUMBER ONE way to get this going, people forget about the outside world and just have a good time, and you’re cool.

Get the guests

Invite everyone you know who is in the area and get them to come down. (You might be selective if you think they’re gonna be tools.) But here’s the important part, you need to make sure they come down.

You’ve probably got an inner circle of people you know you can “count on” who will be there come hell or high water. I hope this includes some girls, but if it doesn’t don’t worry.

The people we’re going to concentrate on are the Maybe’s and the No’s. Look through your potential list of guests (I always do the initial invite on Facebook, it’s easier to track visually there, and for fucks sakes make it sound cool, don’t waste that beautiful space on description with nothing there, use images and a funny event description), and decide who’s who in each list. This should happen about a month in advance if you’re doing a party, but you can get away with much less for other events. Now I run this project management style – it’s the difference in my experience between a bad / ok party, and a whoop ass crazy time.

Call up everyone you think is a Maybe or a No. PERSONALLY invite them. Spend a couple of minutes on the phone chatting about what’s going on with them lately and small talking, and spend a minute selling the heck out of your event, and how you haven’t seen them for a while you’d love if they popped down. (When they do come, please genuinely make an effort to chat to them a bit, they’ll come by again if you do.) Use your genius and find reasons why they’ve GOT to come: there’s gonna be free pizza, you owe them a beer, there’s that one girl/guy they like who’s there, whatever it takes. And when they agree, tell them they can bring their friends or significant others / love interests, and one or two of their friends – make them feel welcome, and help them grow the circle who are attending too.

Closer to the time send out reminders, a simple facebook message or a text is great the day before and it’ll boost your attendance rates, because honestly, people forget. Mention they can bring friends they like and trust and who aren’t going to steal your stuff.

In terms of numbers: if you can’t get at least 20 people together, don’t run a party, you’ll look like a tool, make it another event where you go out for something – even if it’s Witchcraft Rib evening and you go to a steak house and have eat-all-you-can ribs wearing funny hats or something. Make it an event – not just a dinner or a drink. Same thing applies with outside events, though you might not go to the trouble of facebook eventing it, just call everybody.

It's ugly, but what's underneath isn't. Except for that one in middle, I don't know about that.

Run a shit-hot party

Make sure you’ve got whatever you need prepared, and some people won’t be prepared so prepare for that too. If you’re running house party, have cool lights and couches and snacks and some extra booze for the stragglers, and some good fun popular music (I know you’re into hardcore metal or hardcore rave or whatever that shit is, but most of your guests probably aren’t and nothing makes them want to leave more than loud music they hate).

If you’re running a crazy event out there somewhere, make sure you’ve got the bases covered. Did you book the venue? Does everyone know how to find it (or are you meeting somewhere for a pre-drink and getting a cab?) If you need kit did you buy extra (I bought lots of extra neon shit for our neon night, and it was needed, and it helped drag in some outliers who weren’t really part of the group – an extra shirt / hat / bangle / whatever is only a couple of bucks, invest!

When you’re there, make sure everyone’s having a good time. Flit between groups and chat to them. While you’re at it, practise merging groups (drag one into the other and help them make friends, introduce everyone and tell a funny story about one or two to get things going and the ice melted). Make people feel welcomed and ask about their lives. They’ll ask about yours too, but it’s much more important to get them talking and laughing. Introduce them to cool friends you think they’ll like and make jokes, play pranks – basically help people have a really good time.

If you’re doing all of that, you most likely do not even need to think about game at all, because you’re already doing most everything confident, successful guys do. Good body language, tone and the right push-pull in conversations helps a lot too, but this isn’t the time to learn it, you’ll have a lot more on your mind.

When the party is in full swing though, pick your target (you should already have one by now), chat to her a little and tell her to come with to fix a drink or have a look at this or that, and take her somewhere quietish and pull in. Easy. Go back and party with your friends and keep her nearby. As the evening mellows out, you should be mellowing out with her, and if you’re any good you’ll be able to keep her stuck to a couch or lingering around waiting to get cavemanned back to your bedroom!

If you do all of that your party will be a hit, and maybe I’ll be at your next one…

No related posts.

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.