As I sit here writing… I can’t help but pity some Chicken Chokers who still use books from the Antichrist (So Called mPUA’s/PUA’s) and can’t figure out how to get: a little Pink-in-the Stink (Idiots!).

So, I did some research on all the stories that made the front page of various BLOGs and seduction forums in the past year and have come to the conclusion that there is so much B-S, it makes manure look normal:

This leads me to:

The 10 things I really hate about wanna be mPUAs

Hopefully, you will be able to stay clear of them before we all die because of global warming next year . . .

1. They can’t pick up girls: When out with a mPUA up should always feel like his success is just a 5 minutes away. Remember, the average aspiring PUA has the attention span of a gnat on crack unless he is seeing some dude about to score a Megan Fox look a like. PUA’s want the fast, easy, efficient demonstrations that will solve all their problems- like being a virgin for 30 years. Your Demonstration of Pick up must appeal to people with severe ADD or most people won’t watch your style – let alone Digg it.

*In the past year, I have met many mPUA’s.PUA’s who wouldn’t be able to pick up a Dollar Hooker, even if she hadn’t eaten for 3 days, had 4 bastard kids and was standing outside McDonalds .

2. Their Field Reports. Could their field reports be any more narcissistic? I think not. Their Field Reports like themselves so much that Paris Hilton looks about as humble as a Nun by comparison. People must be sitting at their computers going “OMG Look it’s a story about Some Dude on a journey through a club! That’s sooooooo cool! I’ll totally digg that!” Bonus points if you mention Baron/ SleepyCat!

* In the past year, stories mentioning Baron and/or SleepyCat have made people read on 77% of the time ~ True story.

3. Appeal to the Mystery fanboys. Did you hear from someone who knows someone who held Mysteries Coat while he did a magic trick? Well that’s front page Field Report Material all the way! Don’t know why, but if Mystery lets out a fart, aspiring mPUA’s can’t wait to comment on the rosy smell. Don’t get me wrong Mystery is good, but I cant handle his groupies. Im telling you, some guys probably wack off to him at night.

* Stories with Mystery always end and Start the same way.

4. Doom and Gloom about how Global Warming will destroy us all (burning rubber Theory)- Don’t wrote about it. Who cares if we only have real data that covers about 1/20,000,000 of the earth’s history? (unless you’re a creationist, then it’s like 1/40th). Does it matter that world’s best meteorologists can’t even tell me if it’s going to rain tomorrow?

No!

PUA’s don’t really like to DO anything about global warming so don’t write about it, I would rather read about how some guy burnt rubber so much that there is a gigantic hole in the ozone because he had too much sex. They “feel” like they “did something” to “help mankind” just by reading about how some Dude just banged the day lights out some poor under aged teen.

5. Writing about how great Pick Up is. When it comes to writing about picking up a girl, no story is too lame, no “jargon” is too useless and no article can praise the art of Pick Up TOO MUCH. Sure, it’s just a freaking average day in our lives. Sure, it leaks self love faster than . . . umm . . . some kind of leaky thing leaking much faster than usual. Sure no one really needs to know – but who cares?!? Its Fun, Dig IT!

6. On Fake wanna be mPUA’s. Everything they do is because they are 100% evil/lame to the core. This REAL Axis of Evil delights in the clear-cutting of forests just for shits and giggles, the sadistic torture of children, and is right now plotting the Next 9/11 attack on America. These guys are worse! They claim to be the social kings, but in reality they wouldn’t be able to have a conversation with a war veteran without looking like a complete fuck nut. Im telling you nothing clears a room, Like an “mPua” who is both arrogant and weird. You will be found out when you cant deliver

7. Fake Field Reports. So what if 96.5% of all PUA’s tell the truth! It’s those dumb losers who ignore the guidelines, possibly because their parents didn’t hit them enough as kids, or other kids hit them because they had red hair and they’ve been the most consistent winner of the spelling bee for the last 7 years. The bottom line is that when they lie people assume everyone else lies too!

8. They make up outrageous statistics that they have not researched. They State their opinions as fact. Sure, they might get vetted by some geek who has nothing better to do, but that probably won’t happen until they’ve already made themselves famous. (Did you know: Blondes are 2 times more likely to kiss close within 5 minutes than brunettes, but are 2 times as slow as red heads- go figure )

9. They are social retards. Most PUA/mPUA’s have brain washed themselves with so much material that the can not have a normal conversation with a normal person. Come on Guys, Don’t try ask my normal friends to try imagine a Cube in some Baron dessert. There have been countless occasions where I have almost poes-slapped some little shit for running material on my girl/ OR Friends. Nothing like AMOGing a guy by High Five’ing his face!

10. Don’t make lame requests: People are not gonna polish your shoes if they haven’t seen you in action. Build some credibility. People will naturally follow you, don’t push it.

Till next time.

AND REMEMBER- KEEP it REAL!!!!!

Peace

-Baron

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